Beautiful Lie / Painful Truth

An interesting, yet morbid truth is that nobody can confidently say that they will still be living tomorrow.

Death is not easy.  AT ALL.  It’s probably the hardest thing to deal with.  If they were suffering, some say it makes it easier to know that they are at peace now.  When it’s sudden, it’s simply just not fair.  Either way, saying ‘goodbye’ to a loved one is just heartbreaking.

However, the strangest thing about death is that even though it’s a serious degree of separation, it also brings people together.  Sometimes you will end up meeting people you would’ve never encountered before, because of the connection they had with your loved one.  During those difficult times, you might even find yourself comforted by the stories and bonds that they shared with the deceased.  Hearing and remembering these tales, as well as looking through old photographs can actually help with the grieving process.

What we have to remember is that we all need time to grieve.  But at some point, we must use all of our strength inside to push us past that process.  We can’t have grief being the connection we have to the deceased.  How terrible would it be that your precious loved one is being remembered as a legacy of pain that you’re choosing to carry around?  We cannot focus on the moment they died instead of the moments they lived and the joy that they brought to your life.  Every living being in this world has to die someday, but what’s important is how they lived, and how they made you feel.  Hold onto those tender embraces, the funny antics, the mega watt smile, the generosity.

The only reason we should find ourselves feeling sad down the road when we think about someone we love is because of what was left unfinished, unsaid or undone. The pain of regret is tremendous and unfortunately can never be corrected. So while your loved ones are still with you, don’t let anything be unsaid or undone.  Say “I love you” and “thank you”, because you want them to hear it and know it.  We never know what tomorrow may bring, so we must make every moment count.  I’m finding it ‘easier’ to do this with the simple thought that there is always a chance that this might be the last time I ever see this person.

Quoting Albert Pike – “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains immortal.”  I find this to be true in every sense, as we cannot take material objects with us when we depart this life.  However, the memories, the joy and all the happiness we gained by knowing this person will forever remain within us.  We carry the spirit of our loved one, with us always – we are never really without them.

 

Live With Strength ❤

XOXO Karen

Knock Knock!

Who’s there?

It’s opportunity.

Okay, so this is not a ‘knock knock’ joke. Haha.  However, here is my question to you – Are you going to open the door or not?

Maybe we should define opportunity first.  The dictionary states that opportunity is a chance or a prospect.  A favorable or advantageous circumstance or combination of circumstances.  A favorable or suitable occasion or time.   A chance for progress or advancement.

How wonderful is life?  We are constantly being giving opportunities. I now find it a blessing, that I’ve come to so many different crossroads in my life.  I’ve made my fair share of bad decisions, but they have helped shape me into who I am today.  I’ve learned that there are both bad and good opportunities, and then there are GREAT opportunities.  All opportunities have one thing in common.  They will change you.  And the most exciting part about life when you’re looking to change yourself?  It’s that you know you will be challenged.  So, how can we distinguish between them and choose the right path?  Well, there’s always trial and error.  But if you’re looking to attempt a different way, I’m here to share my knowledge 😉

Enter, the Elephant.  Is there one in the room?  We all know that cliche, right?  The funny thing about it, is that yes, the elephant is large – and most likely would not be overlooked in a room full of people…but it is known as a power animal.  It’s said that they can teach us the power of commitment, gentleness and communication within our relationships.  They are extremely powerful when protecting others and gentle in nurturing them.

However, the saying ‘the elephant in the room’ comes from an obvious truth being ignored by an individual or a group of people.  You see, what happens is when a person has to deal with taking a risk, they can encounter a sense of hesitation in pursuing a truth that they know is meant for them, and exchange it for something secure.  Something that they’ve known for a while – something that makes them comfortable.  Maybe not right away, but in time, the exchange can create an imbalance within the self, which in turn will enhance frustration and suffering as a result of regret.  Regret for not going after certain risks in their lives.

 

 

Enter, the winged creatures.  First, let’s focus on the Eagle – The symbol of spirit.  It flies fearlessly.  It teaches us to courageously face our own fears of the unknown in order to fly as high as our heart’s joy can take us. Now let’s look at the Butterfly – The symbol of transformation.  It leaves the safety of it’s cocoon fearlessly to meet a new world, in a new form, trusting it’s untried wings to allow it to fly.  It’s such a powerful symbol for anyone who’s contemplating, or in the middle of a major change.

We need to put some Eagles and butterflies in the room to distract that elephant! We do not want to start dwelling on the missed opportunities that we could have pursued because we were too careful to grab them.  Take control of your life, and your path…and instead of driving yourself insane – learn from these missed opportunities and understand what you will do right the next time an opportunity presents itself.

Moving on to the comfort zone.  Or shall I say, out of it!  We need to train ourselves to do something new and different from time to time.  Thinking about seizing an opportunity will only take you so far.  You have to get some dirt under your nails and make it happen.  One of the most important things I’ve come to learn in my life is to take a minute for myself.  Breathe.  Look around.  And ask myself if this is where I truly want to be.  To make this count – you MUST be honest with yourself.  There cannot be an answer of ‘I don’t know’.  Because the truth of the matter is that you DO know.  Everyone knows where they are happiest.  Your heart and soul will never lie to you.  If the opportunity that has presented itself is worth it – you will know.  It’s time to say goodbye to your comfort zone, and hello to accepting the fact that a change is needed.  You could very well be on your way to living your life to it’s fullest potential.

Elyse Sommer said it best.  “Sometimes opportunity knocks like a loud windburst; more often it arrives like a burglar and disappears before you realize it was there.”  Make sure that your fear doesn’t overcome your desire to achieve greatness – in any aspect of your existence.  While we are given many chances, we only have one life to take them.  Make them count.  Don’t ever settle for less than what you feel you deserve!  Remember your wings.  Spread them out as far and as wide as you can.  Let your spirit transform and don’t ever look back – you’re not heading in that direction.

So…

What are you going to do about that knocking?

🙂

Live With Strength ❤

XOXO Karen

Out With The Old!

Annnnndddd…. In with the new! (So original, right?) 🙂

Well, this post is for anyone out there (myself included!) who find themselves struggling with their existence being impacted by negativity.  We are all constantly being tested in this crazy thing called life, and one of the latest trials I’ve come to deal with led me to the realization that I needed to ‘trim the fat’ that remained within my life.  It ended up being such an invigorating, renewing feeling – ridding myself of the last bit of negativity that was like a leech; sucking out the happiness in my soul!  Now I can make the rest of my life, the best of my life!

With the right people around you, your spirits can be lifted ridiculously high.  Laughter, playful banter, shoulders to lean on.  Individuals that will be with you during your struggles.  Not just your successes.  Because the truth is, no matter how strong you are (or think you are), you do need a quality tribe to help keep you motivated and inspired to keep on keepin’ on 😉

It’s so important to rid yourself of the people or things in your life that leave a negative impact on your well being.  When another person is making you suffer, it’s most likely because he/she is suffering within themselves.  While this person does not need to be punished, you need to realize that for the betterment of your own self, distance might be the best action.  Life is far too short to be sad.  To be mad.  To hold regret.  To look back.  To be depressed.  Or to be unkind.  As I’ve stated in a previous post, you can’t take material things with you when you leave this world…so why not fill your life with everlasting positive memories with the people who matter most.  After all is said and done, the measure of your life is not in what you accumulate, but in what you give away 🙂

While you shouldn’t rely on other people to make you happy – you should be able to rely on your family as well as your chosen family (friends) to be a constant in your life.  Sort of like a marriage; through the good and the bad.  Be careful not to challenge anyone, other than yourself.  You have to strive to be better today than you were yesterday.  Figure out what drives you and then surround yourself with others that are willing and able to help you continue on your path to success.  Not people who are going to drag you down; hinder you from being the best version of you.  Your motivation has to come from within.  Be the best person you can be inside and out, and you will attract the same types of individuals!

I’ve been so insanely blessed.  I’ve had the pleasure of meeting so many wonderful, amazing and supportive individuals that have the same positive outlook/views on life.  These people have helped me continue on the path that I’ve always envisioned myself to be on.  It’s a healthy path of wellness, positivity, happiness & love.  I feel as if I’ve succeeded already, at 30 years of age, because I can look around me and see the smiles I’m able to put on each and every one of their faces.  And vice versa, of course! 🙂  With my family and my chosen family on my side, my soul is in tact.  It’s pure.  My morals, my values – they’re top notch.  And it’s not what society wants me to think and feel is right – it’s what I think and feel is right.  I now feel the freedom to give, but not be used.  I can love, but not be abused.  I can trust, but not be naive.  And best of all, I can listen to others, but not lose my own voice.  These have all been such arduous lessons to learn – but now I can look back and say without the slightest hesitation – It was all worth it.  I am who I am today because of the tests life threw at me.  Because of the people I’ve let go.  Because of the people I kept.  Because of the choices I’ve made – either on my own, or with the aid of my tribe.

Sometimes you just need to step outside.  Get some air.  Remind yourself of who YOU are and who you want to be.  What type of people do you want to surround yourself with?  Norman Cousins said it best, when he stated “The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live.”  So keep the people who bring out the best in you, and free yourself of the ones who are holding you back.  This way you won’t have to let anything expire inside of you while you are still living in this sometimes wacky, but always fascinating journey called…life.

Live With Strength ❤

XOXO Karen

Leave it in the Gutter!

Throbbing, stabbing, shooting, pinching, steady or aching.

Ahh, yes.  Pain.

What did you think I was talking about? 😉

Emotional?  Physical?

To understand how to define it, is how we can control it.

Pain is that uncomfortable feeling that tells you something is wrong.

Although I feel physical pain is easier to assess, once you are able to pinpoint the nature of the problem, both physical and emotional pain can be handled pretty simply (depending on the severity, of course!).

On the physical side of things, we can usually diagnose ourselves nowadays with the help of the internet.  Once we figure out the source of our pain, we are able to come up with the best way to manage our symptoms.  Short lived pain (defined as ‘acute’) might be able to be treated with ice.  Heat.  Massage.  Or even just rest.  Chronic pain, however, is a bit more complex.  From the research I’ve done before writing this blog, I’ve become aware that chronic pain is, 9 times out of 10, the result of a disease within your body.  This definitely requires treatment.  While pain can cause other symptoms such as nausea, weakness, drowsiness or dizziness – it can also bring about emotional effects like depression, irritability or even anger.  Perhaps most significantly, it can change your lifestyle and impact your job, relationships and independence.

Emotional pain, in my opinion, is a much more involved animal.

The quote above states “One of the simplest ways to stay happy is letting go of the things that make you sad”.  It just sounds SO easy!  So why do we continue to hold on to the things that hurt us so much?

From what I’ve learned in my life, the answer to that question is this… It’s because we become comfortable.  We rely on these “things” as some sort of predictability in our lives.  We fear changing that likeness because it’s so familiar to us.  But in reality, it can be a toxic, crippling way of living.  The real question we need to ask ourselves is whether or not preserving that predictability is worth suffering for.. We need to accept the things we cannot change, and recognize that once we are able to let go of the negatives in our lives – the way becomes paved with the stepping stones we need to heal ourselves emotionally!

The only thing that is standing in our way, is ourselves.  Inside each and every one of us is a power so huge…  You have to realize that the only one who can beat you, is you!

We are all going to experience pain in some way shape or form.  But it’s how we deal with it…how we react to it, that strengthens (or breaks) us.  Remember, without pain, we wouldn’t know how amazing pleasure really could be.  So while we need to let go of our pain, we can’t forget to feel it for what it is, first.  Then break it down.  And then let it go.

Helen Keller was quoted having said “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.  Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved”.  This sums up all you need to know about the emotional side of pain.  Where we would be if we never got tested with hard lessons?  Or actually, the better question is, who would we be?

Yes.  It’s difficult to go through hard times, especially when we feel as if our backs are against the wall and have no idea which way is up!  But these are the trials of life that are going to help shape your character.  The way we react coincides with how we develop.  Stay focused on all of the positives in your life, and you will see that your efforts will aid in your transformation into a (relatively) pain-free you!

So, while your mind might’ve went straight to the gutter at the beginning of this blog, I invite you to kick your pain there now 😉

Live with Strength ❤

XOXO Karen

Attempting to G R A S P

Let’s look at that title.  “Attempting to G R A S P”.  The reason I spaced out the word ‘grasp’ is because each letter has a different meaning to me coinciding to the word as a whole.

G.  Grip onto the reality/nature of your problem(s).

R.  Recognize the issue(s) at hand and figure out solutions to Rectify!

A.  Adventure out of your comfort zone.  In order to reap the reward, you have to be willing to take the risk.

S.  Simplify your life!  Out with the old (habits, negativity, etc) and in with the new!  Surround yourself with things/people that will only push you closer to where you want to be.

P.  Praise yourself.  You will have setbacks, slipups, etc.  And that’s okay!  As long as you get yourself back on track and have a realistic approach to attaining your goals.  Do not ever forget to pat yourself on the back for coming as far as you have.

I find it very unfortunate that we, as human beings cannot be helped unless we actually desire a change within.  I have a very hard time ‘grasping’ this concept considering my love of caring for others.  I would love nothing more than for everyone in this world to look and feel exactly how they desire.  A good person, sees the ‘trouble’ that another is in, and attempts to give advice on how they feel the situation would best be rectified.  A great person, however, puts themselves in a position to truly ‘feel’ what that specific individual is going through.  They will do everything in their power, even give up some of their time (which I feel is the most valuable gift to give someone, as we are only given a certain amount!) to help that person achieve change.  I’ve learned that there is a huge difference between a good person and a great person.  Everyone can give advice.  But not everyone will be willing to stick around and make sure that advice is being taken seriously.

So… The real question is, how can we help someone that needs to change?  Whether it’s their diet, their exercise regime, their distorted way of looking at the world, or any other issue.  How do we help them if they are not willing to help themselves?  There is only so much someone can do.  No matter the love you have for this individual, no matter what you say to them, how you try and guide them to the right path – it HAS to come from THEM.  I struggle with this.  There are a few people in my life that are struggling.  They are begging to be helped, whether they realize it or not.  But we, can only do so much for someone who is not ready to help themselves.  Which brings me to  my next question.  At what point will you start living the way you want?  Rather than just getting by with how you are.  What will it take?  I wish that I could instill even a quarter of my motivation into these individuals in my life.  It pains me that I can’t.  Each time I see progress, my heart becomes so full of pride, encouragement, love, happiness and hope.   But then something happens that changes these individual’s mindset.  Liberties start being taken.  The term ‘everything in moderation’ becomes an everyday occurrence.  And there is nothing.  Nothing.. That you, or anyone can do, to get them back on track.  All you can do, is be there for them when they fall off.  Because truth be told, even though they don’t want to admit it, they need you.  You’re a part of their support system.  And you’re part of the reason they’ve made even the slightest progress.  It’s because you believed, and still do believe in them.  You know that they have it within themselves to get where they want/need to be.  I’m still struggling with this.  In fact, I struggle with it every day.  Sometimes I become too aggressive, because this is a tactic that would work on me.  Unfortunately that might have a detrimental affect on people that I try to help.  But if I’m soothing, calm, and sweet as can be… I might be viewed as a pushover that will be more lenient with liberties being taken.

So where is the middle ground?

Within that individual.  It goes along with that whole good person, great person idea I mentioned earlier.  As a great person, you can figure out the middle road that will eventually lead to success.

However, throughout this process, please remember….the most important factor is this… Do not EVER lose yourself while helping another.  Make sure you stay true to your values, your morals & your lifestyle.  They know you will be there to help them.  They know you will be there to support them.  They know you will be there rooting for them every step of the way.  Keep positive, and let that side radiate out to the world.  You’ll end up creating a domino effect of positivity that brings strength to others in the areas they need it most.

So…GRASP these ideas & questions, focus on all the positive things in your life – and project those feelings outward to everyone in your life – and do not ever lose YOU while trying to help another find themselves.

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle” 🙂

Live With Strength ❤

XOXO Karen

4 seconds to Re-Motivate!

There are times when we, as human beings, might find ourselves lacking in the motivation department.  Maybe we’ve surrounded ourselves with too much negativity.  Maybe it has to do with certain circumstances going on in our lives.  Or maybe, it has to do with an overwhelming feeling that nothing is going right, and it would be better…easier…if we just didn’t try.

I’ve been there.  I still have my days where I need to take a step back and breathe.  Refocus.  But I have realized this is all a part of life!  100% normal & healthy.  One of the most important things I’ve learned, especially within the past year, is to surround yourself with people who WANT to see you happy.  Who want to see you succeed.  Who want to be there for you when you need it.  The ones who will look out for you.  People who treat you the same way you treat them.  Your core, your rock(s), your fab 5 (or 10!), your circle – whatever you call them – keep them close 🙂

Think about this.  The average adult body is 50 to 65 percent water – roughly 45 quarts.  Water is essential to the human body’s survival.  A person can live for around a month without food, but only about one week without water.  What do you do when you feel hot?  Sweaty?  Thirsty?  Maybe even tired?  You drink water.  Why?  Because you know it’s going to rehydrate you.  It gives you that ‘ahhh that’s so refreshing’ feeling almost instantaneously.  Equate that to having a lack of focus, or the will to finish what we started in the first place… See what I’m getting at?  Just like you would rehydrate yourself, you need to RE-MOTIVATE yourself!

You have to pick yourself up & realize who YOU are.  There are so many people in your life that want to see you succeed in whatever it is you’re doing!  It’s time to dig deep and figure out what can and will help you get back on track.  Every single thing in our life is a reflection of a choice we have made.  So in order to have a different result, we need to make a different choice!  Weed out the negative thoughts – and replace them with positive, constructive thoughts!

I recently started learning about our conscious and subconscious mind. Our brains are truly amazing.  Did you know that studies have shown that from the time an idea/image/view/etc pops into your head – you have around 4 seconds to either deny it or accept it?  If you accept it, it becomes a thought.  If you choose to deny it, you are actually replacing it with a different thought.  This is something that I’ve found myself banking on.  And just like most things in life – practice makes perfect!   Now, if I start to think about something that I feel is detrimental to my motivation – I quickly replace it with material of a positive nature.  It could even be a mantra – or one of your favorite quotes.  I’ve found the key to the ‘exercise’ is confusing your brain.  As crazy as that sounds, it’s as if you have to outsmart your self!  It’s a battle between the 2 sides of consciousness.  Go ahead – try it!  You have 4 seconds 🙂

What are you thinking of right now?

STOP!

Have you seen the new Batman movie?

Thought replaced. 😉  And I bet that was only 2 seconds! 😉

You have the tools within you to take charge of your life.  Sometimes we get off track, but that’s okay!  Understanding that everyone faces doubt, anxiety, negativity and maybe even depression is important.  What’s going to separate the herd from the pack is the ability to keep moving forward.  Try.  Try.  Try.  If/when you fail? Keep trying.  Be nurturing to yourself and zero in on the task at hand.  Take your lack of confidence, your lack of direction, your lack of focus – and use them to fuel you!  We tend to take our strengths for granted and sometimes find ourselves dwelling on our failures.  Be grateful!  You are competent.  You can achieve whatever you put your mind to.  Create a positive goal for a year down the road. If you don’t want to think that far ahead – make it for a month.  A week.  A day.  A minute!  Just set a goal.  It’s the first step in motivating yourself to take action.

My Mom brought this to my attention last week.  Have you ever written out a ‘To-Do’ list?  If so, did you include anything that you had already completed – just so you could cross it off?

I’m guilty of it! As is my Mom! 🙂

I think the reason we do that is because it helps us regain direction.  It creates a sort of positive momentum.  Positive reinforcement.  It helps propel us to getting more accomplished!

It’s inevitable that we will all encounter times of low energy.  Maybe even failure.  But when we can recognize it for what it really is – a bump in the road – we can keep ourselves motivated.  You CAN achieve whatever you set out to do.  ANYTHING is possible!  So go start that diet.  Clean out your garage.  Make a new business plan.  Train for a triathlon.  Do what you want to do.  Why?  Because you can.  And you should!  Keep your family and friends by your side and replace those negative thoughts with ones that will push you where you want to inevitably be.  Don’t get down on yourself – you are on your way to something amazing.  🙂

Live With Strength ❤

XOXO Karen

 

 

“Moment Happiness”

Before I fell asleep last night, I received a text message from a friend who really needed to vent.  After about an hour’s worth of conversation, I came to this conclusion…

I realized that most of this world is so consumed with gossip, material things and who knows who.  There are times I’m sure we have all felt as if we were drowning in the superficialness of society.  You begin living as if you’re a shell of yourself, because your wings simply cannot spread.  You become so engrossed with how to make a quick buck so you can go purchase that designer handbag you’ve been drooling over in the department store’s window.

I was living in a city that thrived on all of that.  And it wasn’t until I moved to a much more rural town, that I began to see how it truly was.  Sometimes people get so carried away with having the best of everything, that they forget they can’t take it with them when they leave Earth.

There was a time when I had to have the best names out there.  Drive the hottest cars.  Be seen with the ‘popular crowd’.  But then I had a hard reality check.  I wasn’t actually happy with my life.  All I was doing was attempting to exude happiness on the outside, but my soul’s happiness was hibernating.  I had hit my rock bottom.  I realized I was living outside of my means, and I needed to change.  I had completely lost sight of what ACTUALLY matters.  I had been influenced by the wrong people in my past, and I was finally determined to get the right ones in my life.  Ones who believed in me for who I was – not what brand of watch I was wearing.

It has been a long road.  A road filled with discoveries & hardships.  A crazy amount of lessons learned.  And some great mentors.  I’m still understanding more and more about myself every day.  One quote that helps keep me going is…”It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” (Babe Ruth)

Nowadays, when I want to ‘spoil’ myself, I purchase things that I know will help me get that much closer to achieving my goals in life.  Because the truth of it all is this.. People are going to remember how you made them feel. What you did for them. How you were there for them.  NOT what color your Jimmy Choos were 😉

Think about this.  (If you have enough money to go around, then you will probably disagree with me)

Wouldn’t you rather drive a ‘normal’ car as opposed to a Rangerover or a Porsche – because you know you can afford it?  You won’t have to go through each and every month wondering how/if you’re going to make that payment every 30 days.  And the money you end up saving, you will be able to spend on experiences…which in reality, are what REALLY provides you happiness.  It is not the tangible items we have in our life that gives us happiness.  Happiness comes from how you feel.  So if you can retrain your mind to find that ‘high’ you obtain from buying that designer handbag, or that fast car, or even going out to the hottest, most expensive restaurant with the one friend who can actually afford it…I promise you will discover a new lease on life.  A much more sustainable, fulfilling one 🙂

Let me ask you this.  Do you remember that ridiculously expensive sushi dinner you had with clients a few months back?  And I don’t mean remember as in recalling it. I mean really remembering how you felt.  Did you laugh? If so, do you even remember why you were laughing?  Did that dinner that you or your company paid for fulfill your need for happiness?  Now answer this.  Remember that day you and your friends all met up at that dive bar?  Or spent the day at the beach?  Or when you had that bonfire? Did you laugh? Exactly.  And hey, which one of those outings did you take pictures of how great a time you were having?  The feelings that matter are the ones that touch your heart. The ones that stay with you throughout the years.  The feelings that come from your soul’s happiness 🙂

Society, as a whole, revolves on feelings.  How this person makes you feel.  How wearing Gucci sunglasses makes you feel.  How eating Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream makes you feel.  How stepping out of your Ferrari makes you feel.  How your boss makes you feel.  How exercising makes you feel.  Well, what if we, as individuals begin to turn our materialistic nature around?  We all have room to grow.  Even if you feel you already think this way – there is always room for improvement. Trust me 🙂  The object is to weed out the feelings that don’t help you grow as a person.  Feelings that come from that ‘moment happiness’ when you purchase something you’ll probably end up using for a week. Two, tops.  When you’re at the register, ready to cash out with your item(s) in hand…ask yourself this.  “How is this item I’m about to purchase going to help me become a better person?” Or “How will this purchase help me get closer to my goals in life?”  You see, each of us have our own personal shine.  And that shine doesn’t come from the silver bangles on your wrist…it comes from within 🙂

Go spread your wings!

Live simply.  Live with strength ❤

XOXO Karen